Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Bologna, Italy


Bologna

The largest city in northern Italy named after a tube shaped meat, Bologna is a virtual time warp back to the era where long-haired men wearing tights and colorful hats pranced around town engaging in sword fights, a sight only seen nowadays in large cities during Pride week.


The city, inhabited since 1000 BC, is filled with ruins and reminders of the past, like the sign below depicting a once powerful sports franchise that dominated the field, but has spent the last 20 years disappointing fans, the fighting Mules of Bologna. To the right is an incredibly racist parking sign.




Remnants of the ancient wall that used to surround the city. The wall fell into decay shortly after Mexico defaulted on its promise to pay for it, a lesson that should not be ignored by today's nations that want to build a wall in order to keep out unwanted neighbors. (I'm talking to you Canada)





















The taller tower in the pics below and above is the Tower of Asinelli (asinelli is Italian for "little donkeys") which has an interesting story to how it got its name. Legend has it the that a farmer was walking one day with his two donkeys. At one point the donkeys, who like many medieval Italian donkeys were equipped a shovel and metal detector,  started digging in the dirt and struck a bag of gold coins. The farmer decided to keep his discovery a secret and hid the treasure. Years later, the Farmer's son (actual photo) who had a way with the ladies, finally decided to settle down and get married. When the son asked his potential bride's father for his blessing, the father told him that he could only marry his daughter if he built the tallest tower in Bologna.

Realizing that the matchmaking website farmersonly.com would not be up and running for centuries and that odds were against his photogenic son finding another mate, the farmer decided to let his son use the gold the donkeys found to fund the building of the tower. After nine years, the tower was completed, and the brides father finally granted his consent for the son to marry his daughter. The farmer then named the finished tower the "Tower of the Little Donkeys" as a reminder to people that anyone who waits 9 years to marry a woman is a jackass.





The hotel I stayed in offered some fantastic amenities. 







Pics from the archeological museum.


Actual suit of armor found in the city and based on its size, was worn by medieval midgets.



Gruesome instruments of death like the ones pictured were common on the battlefield back in the dark ages. Though technology has allowed modern armies to find easier ways to kill fellow human beings thus phasing out these tools, many of these weapons can still be found in your local sex shop. 


Weapons from the armies of the middle east. They purposely designed their shields to look like breasts and then attacked western armies in pairs to distract the enemy, a genius tactic that allowed Muslim armies to conquer much of southern Europe.











No to be outdone by their Spanish neighbors, Italy offers tapas too. They even go one step further and have tapas buffets with excellent grub at many places throughout the city. 














Known as Bononia in Roman times, these ruins are located beneath a library in Bologna's city center. The pics below are the remains of an old Roman road and house. Exciting, isn't it? Further excavations have recently unearthed a beautifully well-preserved mural of Bononia's first ruler