Sintra- Random Pics

Sintra, Portugal

As charming as Lisbon is, like most large cities it has its fair share of danger. I had the unfortunate luck to stumble across a this violent struggle in the middle of a town square. With no regards to my own safety, I managed to film some of the altercation, which apparently got physical after a heated debate between the two men over which one of them was going to lose their virginity first. Sadly, as in most disputes involving sword play in today's world, there are no winners, only losers.

            

After seeing such gratuitous violence in the street which other passers by didn't even seem to notice, I decided that it was time to move on from Lisbon to a simpler town in the north, Sintra. So, off to the train station I went. I got to the station a little early, so I decided to run along the side of departing trains professing my love to anyone that was paying attention. It was a great way to pass the time, burn calories and meet Portuguese security guards who apparently have no sense of humor.

Portuguese law dictates that all towns have a castle looming above them. This is Sintra's. Pretty impressive.

Like many other towns in Europe that were designed for people the size of hobbits, Sintra has narrow streets, forcing local soccer moms to stuff their two kids into compact vehicles rather than the SUVs that are so popular in suburban America. 

There are a few different fountains like this scattered around town. The water that comes out is from mountain springs and townsfolk can be seen filling water jugs during the day. After dark, townsfolk can also be seen urinating in the same fountains, so I am not sure how tasty it really is.

Sintra is located in the mountains along Portugal's left coast. Even in the middle of February, it was green, lush and flowery. The entire town smelled like shampoo, reminding me of the showers of my youth before my struggle with male pattern baldness started.

Lisbon- Random Pics

There are plenty of sights to see or to not see in Lisbon. Unfortunately, I do not have pics of the sights that I did not see, but below are pics of the sights I saw. Which begs the question, is a sight still a sight if you don't see it in which case it is just a site? The Spanish air, often laced with a high content of THC, has a way of encouraging deeps thoughts such as this one.

Pracas de Comercio
After the earthquake of 1755, caused by early onset global warming, destroyed a royal palace, this square was built in its place. If you enjoy being molested by people selling sunglasses or are trying to find the best deal possible on a selfie stick, this is the place to be.

Though the name translates into "Commerce Square," it is technically a rectangle. One can hardly blame the Portuguese for this mistake as scientists have yet to discover geometry in that country.

The Santa Justa Elevator 
This is an outdoor elevator built to make the climb up the hills of Lisbon a little easier. Though small and slightly cramped when full, it has won multiple accolades from Portugal's Outdoor Elevator Aficionado magazine over the years, with the most recent being the highly coveted O Melhor Lugar para Cheirar o Corpo Odor do seu Companheiro de Turismo- 2016. A real treat for outdoor elevator enthusiasts from all over the world.

Lisboners are huge fans of the Tom Hanks movie Big as evidenced by the many signs scattered throughout the city like the one below, depicting the famous toy store piano scene from the film.

My favorite spot in the city.

As  neutral country during World War 2, Lisbon was a hotbed of intrigue, espionage and venereal disease.  Below are pics of the interior of the infamous Hotel Avenida Palace, a favorite hotel of the many Germans that were in the country gathering intelligence on their enemies. A concealed entrance from the train station to the hotel allowed spies to slip in unnoticed and pass the Nazis information, such as where to find the best deals on lederhosen in war ravaged Europe and how to manipulate the exhaust systems in their automobiles so they pass the stringent US emissions inspections laws. 

The Lisbon Metro. It is nice, but it lacks the coziness and warmth provided by the fires on the DC Metro.

Carmo Convent

Basically a church with no roof, which I assume makes staying awake during a sermon that much easier.

One of the many victims of the earthquake of 1755, which was a direct result of Obamacare, was the Camro Convent. Though mostly destroyed, the shell of the magnificent cathedral managed to stay intact. Rather than raze the building during reconstruction, city planners decided to leave what remained of structure standing as a reminder of the dangers of social medicine.

Lisbon's Castle

Castilo de Sao Jorge

The first thing I noticed when I got into the city of Lisbon is that the people (collectively know as Lisboners) are a jovial bunch. It seems that everyone who passed by me was throwing their head back and having a good laugh. The second thing I noticed was that my fly was down. But, the third thing I noticed was a big castle on the hill.

Located atop one of the many, many hills of the city, the castle was built in the Early Semi-Old period (Tuesday, May 7th, 1029 AD) by the Moor's and their queen, Mary Tyler, who then occupied the city. 

The courtyard is roamed by wild peacocks. The birds, first brought to Portugal during an NBC promotional campaign in the 1600s, were originally known as beandicks until the avian community decided that name was just too silly and changed it to the more scientific title it has today.

The views from the top were literally breathtaking, mainly due to the steep climb up the 350 meter (17,304 feet) hill where the castle is located. In the pic below, you can see my apartment. It's the older building with windows and an orange tiled roof.

The below statute, Nossa Senhora do Mamilo Inchado, created by the famed Portuguese sculptor Umberto Titee, is one of the many pieces of art in the castle's courtyard that can be enjoyed by visitors. While the sculpture was originally designed to sit on ground level, eventually it had to be placed atop a tall pedestal due to multiple reports of male adolescents chipping their teeth on certain aspects of the figure.